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Monday, May 31, 2010

Things I've Learned From 24

The only safe way to get from point A to point B is to have an extensive physical and then walk while alone for 100 miles in every direction.

No matter how long and complicated a crisis is, something very important, something that changes that nature of that crisis, will happen every hour, usually close to the end of that hour.

Everyone important drives a black or silver SUV, or a limousine escorted by black or silver SUVs.

The #1 way a state of crisis is maintained is the kidnapping of family members.

Anyone in upper management is a dick, no exceptions. If they start acting otherwise they will soon die.

A silenced handgun is the most effective weapon in the US arsenal.

Possession of a name is one’s most important asset for survival, people without names are between 5 and 10,000 times more likely to be killed. While a personal attachment to someone with a name makes one more likely to be threatened, a lack of personal attachments makes one more likely to be killed.

All good parents are hysterical morons, even otherwise reasonable and efficient people are stupid when it comes to their children.

If you betray a women she will stab you in the chest with a sharp object.

“Knowing how someone thinks” is a huge bonus in any attempt to deal with them, despite it rarely having any real implications.

Torture is the most effective way of obtaining information; although somehow the government is honor-bound to forbid it, their immortal demigod agents may use it whenever they please with very limited consequences.

The goodness of the people and the government of the USA is the only absolute, all other truths bend around this fact and must be manipulated to support it.